When Coping Turns Into Self-Abandonment
- Oberdan Marianetti
- Feb 19
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 12
Understanding the High-Functioning Individual
If there is a crisis, you are the person everyone wants in their corner. You are capable, tough, and know how to push through challenges.
When things get tough at work or home, you know how to lock it down. You suppress your fatigue, put your emotions in a box, and do what needs to be done. This capability is unparalleled. It’s likely the engine of your success.
However, in Week 3 of our series on the High-Functioning Individual, we need to examine the dark side of this capability.
The Dark Side of Coping
We need to ask: When does coping quietly turn into self-abandonment?
The difference lies in duration. Coping is a tactic. It’s like holding your breath to dive underwater and retrieve something. It has a start and an end point.
On the other hand, self-abandonment is what happens when you decide to live underwater.
High-functioning individuals are skilled at enduring discomfort. They often miss the signal that the crisis is over. They keep coping long after the threat has passed, permanently disconnecting from their own needs just to maintain their external role. They don’t just "push through" occasionally; they learn to live without themselves entirely.
That is the hidden danger in being so good at coping. You might forget to stop.
The Cost of Continuous Coping
Many of us are still "coping" with situations: bad jobs, draining relationships, and unsustainable paces that should have ended years ago. We have normalized the state of emergency.
It’s time to exhale.
In this week’s video, I explore how this transition happens silently. I discuss why the most capable people are often the most disconnected from their own true needs (their Essence).
After watching, take a moment to reflect on this question:
Where in your life are you still "coping" with a situation that should have ended years ago?
The Importance of Self-Reflection
Self-reflection is crucial for recognizing when coping has turned into self-abandonment. It allows you to assess your emotional state and identify areas where you may be neglecting your needs.
Take time to journal your thoughts. Write down situations where you feel you are merely coping. Acknowledge your feelings and consider what changes you can make to prioritize your well-being.
Seeking Support
Sometimes, it can be challenging to navigate these feelings alone. Seeking support from friends, family, or a professional can provide valuable insights. They can help you see patterns that you might be blind to and offer encouragement as you work towards reconnecting with your true self.
Embracing Change
Embracing change is essential for growth. It may be uncomfortable at first, but stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to a more fulfilling life.
Consider setting small, achievable goals that align with your needs. Celebrate your progress, no matter how minor it may seem. Each step you take towards self-care is a victory.
Conclusion
In conclusion, recognizing when coping turns into self-abandonment is vital for maintaining your well-being. It’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of pushing through challenges. However, it’s essential to pause, reflect, and prioritize your needs.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Many high-functioning individuals face similar struggles. By acknowledging your feelings and seeking support, you can reclaim your essence and live a more balanced life.
Catch up on the journey:
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