When Does Coping Quietly Turn Into Self-Abandonment?
- Oberdan Marianetti
- 14 hours ago
- 2 min read
If there is a crisis, you are the person everyone wants in their corner. You are capable, you are tough, and you know how to push through.
When things get tough at work or at home, you know how to lock it down. You suppress your fatigue, you put your emotions in a box, and you do what needs to be done.
This capability is unparalleled. It’s likely the engine of your success.
But in Week 3 of our series on the High-Functioning Individual, we need to look at the dark side of that capability.
We need to ask: When does coping quietly turn into self-abandonment?
The difference is duration.
Coping is a tactic. It is holding your breath to dive underwater and retrieve something. It has a start and an end point.
Self-abandonment is what happens when you decide to live underwater.
Because high-functioning people are so skilled at enduring discomfort, they often miss the signal that the crisis is over. They keep coping long after the threat has passed, permanently disconnecting from their own needs just to maintain their external role.
They don't just "push through" occasionally; they learn to live without themselves entirely.
That is the hidden danger in being so good at coping.
You might forget to stop.
Many of us are still "coping" with situations: bad jobs, draining relationships, unsustainable paces: that should have ended years ago. We have normalised the state of emergency.
It’s time to exhale.
In this week’s video, I explore how this transition happens silently, and why the most capable people are often the most disconnected from their own true needs (their Essence).
Watch Week 3: When does coping turn into self-abandonment?
After watching, sit with this question for a few minutes:
Where in your life are you still "coping" with a situation that should have ended years ago?
Catch up on the journey:
Week 1: The Definition: IET - What does it actually mean to be a high-functioning individual?
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