Internalisers are perceptive and highly sensitive. Children who are internalisers notice quickly when their parents are not connecting with them. They are usually more affected when growing up with emotionally immature parents. In short, they feel emotional loneliness much more.
Internalisers are extremely sensitive to other people’s inner states and the needs of others. It can either be a good thing or a bad thing. Internalisers have strong emotions that they do not act out as immediate as externalisers therefore chances of emotions intensifying are higher as they hold them inside.
This also explains why internalisers are often seen as overly emotional and sensitive. For internalisers, it is much easier to tell from their physical aspect such as crying or showing a sad face. And this is something that emotionally immature parents can’t stand. However, for externalisers who are experiencing strong emotions, they act them out through behavioural rather than an emotional.
Parents tend to scold or punish externalisers for their behaviours, but use shame and contempt on internalisers. This difference in treatment will only allow externalisers to see their problems are behavioural while allowing internalisers to see that they are born with a problem.
Here are some of the traits an internaliser: strong emotions, highly sensitive, have a deeper need for an emotional connection, able to sense when engagements are genuine, they feel bad needing help from others, and they can also be overly independent.
In summary, internalisers have a strong need to connect with others but are usually unable to because they see it as bothering others and they are not worthy of it. Internalisers get by with very little support when it comes to relationships and ends up with too much emotional pain, resentment, and emotional exhaustion.
If you believe that you are an internaliser and you’re feeling emotionally and mentally exhausted, we are here to help!