Today I want to offer men three important points about their orgasm.
Orgasm is separate from ejaculation and the two can happen independently
Orgasm can happen multiple times during a sexual encounter – for most men, not just studs
Orgasm is not a necessary condition for fulfilling and satisfying sex
There is a belief that orgasm and ejaculation are the same. The fact that they typically happen adjacent to each other gives that impression. Actually we know with great confidence that they are separate processes, and can therefore happen independently from each other.
Tantric masters are well known for their ability to experience orgasms without ejaculation. However, you do not need to become a Tantric master to separate your orgasm and ejaculation.
Many men have learned the relaxation and breathing techniques, and conditioned their sex muscles enough to regulate their orgasms and separate them from ejaculation if so they wish.
Over the last couple of decades, books on multiple male orgasm have mushroomed.
There are indeed simple and effective techniques that one can learn to have multiple orgasms, but I want to offer an alternative viewpoint, one that does not require special techniques.
It is natural to experience lower arousal, and partially or totally losing an erection after an orgasm. However, it is possible to continue having sex if you and your partner so wish…even penetrative sex.
The belief that after an orgasm it’s all over, has conditioned many men to just stop after they climax. However, when invited to stay sexual, these same men are surprised to realise how quickly they can regain arousal and erection and resume penetration if they want to.
Temporarily moving to activities that require no penetration, can maintain the baseline of excitement high enough for the experience to remain pleasurable and engaging for both partners. Some men come back quickly, others may take a little longer, but on average, most men can surprise themselves – and their partners ;-) ;-) – with the renewed vigour.
For many, men and women alike, the orgasm is considered the ultimate goal to a “successful” sexual encounter; no orgasm equals failure. Unfortunately, this belief makes for limited sexual pleasure. The pressures and the expectations to achieve or give orgasm are so high that one becomes unable to enjoy the experience.
An orgasm is a wonderful moment, but that’s all it is, a moment.
While the intensity of pleasure may be less than an orgasm, every other sexual moment has pleasure hidden in it. Just tune into them. Imagine the pleasure in truly admiring the sinuous curves on your partners' body; savouring the smell of their skin or the taste of their juices; enjoying the sensations on touching their hair; or feeling the energetic vibes that grow when your bodies meet…
Letting go of the “obligatory” need for an orgasm, can free you from unnecessary pressures and expectations, and open your senses to a world of pleasure you have not imagined.
Beliefs are powerful dictators of experiences and if we obey them blindly we short-change ourselves and rob our body, mind and spirit of powerful and intense sexual pleasure. Consciously choosing to go for orgasm is completely different than being its slave.
Thank you for reading my article.
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