Is regret a warning light?


Happy New Year everyone, and thank you for the ongoing support!!!

I noticed a pattern that continues to show up in conversations with my clients and I want to offer it as an opportunity for reflection and growth.

We probably all have some regrets, tiny or huge that they may be, they tend to be there.

Clients frequently share stories of regret and the pain and disruption it seemingly causes to their current life experience.

We usually investigate this stories further, both in their past and present content. What I find surprising is that eventually the large, large, large majority of clients realise that while they feel regret, they know that they did the best they could given the knowledge, skills, tools and circumstances at at time.

And so I wonder, if there is a part of our 'knowing' that knows we did the best we could, how come there is a part of our 'knowing' that feels the need to regret it?

My hypothesis is that the object of our regret is misplaced.

The commonality in these stories is "Current regret is linked to past events, but experienced in the present".

My hypothesis is that the equation could be "Current regret is linked to current events, which we cannot address" for whatever true or imagined reason.

I appreciate I cannot do justice to this idea in a short article, but perhaps the mechanics of what I am pointing to are irrelevant.

Perhaps what is more important is asking ourselves, "given that I currently experience regret, albeit about past events, is there anything different I should be / do TODAY that I am failing to address?"

Who knows!?!?! Perhaps just like a warning light on a car's dashboard, regret is nothing but a warning sign that we are currently off balance and should adjust our course.

Thank you for reading my article.

I base all my articles on real case studies and research findings that are relevant to my work and my clients.

Feel free to reach out to me with any questions or if you would like to explore something together.


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