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Want to save your relationship? Be curious!

The inescapable truth is that we all have questions, fears, inhibitions and hang ups about relationships and sexuality.

You may be wondering why you always end up with the wrong partner. Or perhaps you feel sad about the lack of intimacy with your partner. You may have questions on how to speak to your child about sexuality. Or you may be wondering about the impact of sex during pregnancy.

Whatever the questions, I bet you have few or no people to address these to.

The other inescapable truth is that there are rare opportunities to openly address relationship and sexuality questions.

Of course there is the Internet, which is amazing! However, when searching through it, large volumes of information that are difficult to digest and make sense of often overwhelm us.

This is a serious issue, and often we don’t even know it is there.


Many people, when asked, would say they have nothing to address in their relationship.

We are trained to believe that it is normal for a relationship to lose its spark after that initial, intense phase often called ‘honeymoon period’. In fact, I have had clients saying things like, “Well, every relationship eventually dies, we know it’s normal!”

Because of the belief that it is normal, many accept a sub-optimal, stress-inducing relationship and numb themselves to suffering under the pretence of normalcy.

Be honest with yourself, are you really satisfied with your relationship? If not, how are you addressing the situation?


The journey begins with being curious and addressing your questions openly. Unfortunately, even when given the opportunity, many people would not ask them.

I delivered a few relationship talks over the last few months and during the Q&As not one question was asked.

What strikes me most is that once the talks were over, people approached me to ask questions, usually a group. Some ask openly, others limit themselves to hover around the group and listen to what is being said.

These questions are usually rich and the conversations they spark powerful.

I frequently find myself thinking, “What a shame that other participants don’t get to hear this. If only they asked me during the Q&A!”

There is a large chunk of the population that has relationship issues and don't even know it.

Of those who know, a large proportion would never ask their questions, even when given the opportunity. Few take ownership of their growth and actively look for ways to address their questions.

Which part of the population do you fall into?

Be curious, take measured risks and ask the questions you have. You owe it to your wellbeing and, if you have a partner, to your relationships.

Thank you for reading my article.

I base all my articles on real case studies and research findings that are relevant to my clients. If would like to read future posts, please join us here.

If you would like help with a similar challenge, you can book a free introductory consultation below and we can explore a way of working together.

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